But that creepy-ass little dude snuck up on me! Blech! (add shiver from left over "blechness")! Dirty dirtball freaked me out when it jetted from underneath my keyboard! All creepy like. Eww! How long had he been under there!?
I'm sure he was just saying "Hi.", it's not like he attacked me. Perhaps he was pissed about all the clickety clacketing I had been disturbing him with. I don't know! But don't sneak up on a girl like that! You and your long creepy-crawly legs and jet black grossness. I don't care if you're smaller than a dime. You freak me out.
And I'm not usually that girl. That silly screaming girl who freaks out about spiders ... I can keep my cool, dispose of them as needed, help other faintish girls in their time of distress ... etc. etc. etc.
It's just that this bugger gave me the creepers, super dark black, quick sharp movements, showing up out of no where ... staring me down. And now I'm left wondering if he had friends?
I tried to catch him. Catch him so I could torture hi.... I mean, so I could be that good person who puts him outside to live amongst the wilderness, or at least live anywhere else besides my keyboard (it might also have something to do with wanting to freak him out as much as he did me). But, you know, I do have a tender heart about killing the little duders ... and I try to free them when I can. (Granted, it's probably more like throwing them into another country since the parking lot isn't anything like his little home within my cubicle, but whatever. Maybe he was just visiting ... like a spider vacation.)HOWEVER, this black ninja was a darter! And a jumper. You know, the kind that sense motion and rocket between random destinations, of which you can never predetermine. Ugh. I can't deal with jumpers. I'm pretty sure I jumped every time he jumped just to be sure I was out of his way.
I literally (and ashamedly) had to call my coworker out from the lunch room to come "handle" the situation. Because when I started to walk away (to go quietly retrieve said "handler") the spider would also start to walk away (crawl ... crawl away, on his creepy black legs)! While I was there, at my desk, he was all about the stare down (or ninja show)... but should I start to walk away, that little smart-ass was going to go find another hiding spot so he could sneak up and freak me out again! Bastard.
Cue typical girly scene: I stood at my desk, confirming he would not make it to any new cleverly stalked cover, and yelled for my coworker to come and help me.
Like a girl.
A girly, girl.
A girly girl afraid of spiders.
Hmph.
Just because I'm not a sufficient spider hunter/catcher, does not mean I'm a wuss.
The sad part is that Grant (coworker - who will now make fun of me about spiders forever) doesn't share my life saving sentiment for bugs, and rectified the situation by smashing the poor little guy into my desk. :(
Sad little dead spider. He tried to jump and dart, but Grant was fast, and sort of outweighed him.
Sigh ... it's not the end I would have preferred, and in preparation for the next spider extravaganza, I'm going to have to hunt out a more sympathetic savior, however, I am glad to have him free of my keyboard. (Yes, I have checked for any lingering escape artists.)
Let's just hope my fears about him having friends are unfounded - I don't need revenge of the ninja spiders to contend with on Monday ...
Needless to say, I'm going to be scanning my desktop for a while before I return to the normal spider free calmness of before.
I definitely lol'ed.